So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
