Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
