Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
