Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
