Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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