need another drink. this is the easiest way
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
