need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm way too hungover for life right now
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
