I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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