I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
