I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
