i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
