Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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