you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
