Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
