Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
