did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
