Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
