I hate your face
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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