Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
