why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
