so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize