i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
