I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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