That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
worst night to have a conscience
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
