We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
