we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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