Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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