addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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