if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
