U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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