I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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