So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
please come you make the beer taste better
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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