dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
