Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
They are going to name an STD after you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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