It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
