Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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