I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize