let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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