dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
