does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
