I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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