ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
