And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i drank out of a bidet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize