I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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