wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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