i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
