mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
