He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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