ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
