They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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