break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
