Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
