my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
