Little spoons don't ask big questions
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
