I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
