it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
