did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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