I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
