I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize