Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
