I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I have demons in me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
