Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize