Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he thought i was a dude.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
