Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
