i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
