So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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