I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
