we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
