Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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